In which I return...

Yes, that's right. I am officially blowing off the cobwebs and FINALLY updating this blog! Try not to die of shock. I didn't know I was capable of breaking up my long-term relationship with extreme procrastination.

I may as well get right to the meat of it - I am pregnant with boy number 2! It's official. I'm outnumbered. Let the battle for keeping the toilet seat down begin. In this entry I'll try and catch you all up with what has been going on over the last year and a bit, as well as sharing my recent maternity shoot photos.

Needless to say, Robin is obviously no longer a baby. He's a walking, talking and extremely naughty almost THREE year old. Look! He's so grown up now.

Currently, we are finally seeing the light at the end of the very long tunnel that is potty training. After weeks of seeking advice online and simply being met with, 'OOOOooooOOoo WELL, my little Horatio was potty trained by the age of 6 months AND he just finished writing his first sonata', we decided to stop stressing and just go with the flow, as it were. Turns out that was the best thing we could possibly do. I think, fingers crossed, we may be done with finding suspicious ammonia-scented wet patches on the carpet, and I REALLY hope I never have to play the harrowing game of 'is this poo or chocolate' again for a while. It has taken years off of my life, I'm sure.

Moving on from the subject of bowel movements, I would like to talk about why I was away for longer than I intended. Shortly after I fell pregnant with boy number 2 six months ago, I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG for short). HG had me vomiting upwards of 30 times a day, all day long and I was in and out of hospital as well as barely being able to function.

Yes, I'm going to be very strange and intersperse my ramble about horrible HG with happy-glowing-maternity photos (big thanks to my multi-talented husband for snapping these).
I really can't find the right words to fully explain just how awful I felt during the first 5 months of my pregnancy. Not just physically, but also emotionally. I couldn't decide which was worse between the 24/7 nausea, the near endless vomiting and the soul sucking depression that came with it. I have never felt so cut off from the rest of the world in my life. I barely left the house unless it was for a midwife or doctor appointment, or a stay in hospital. I couldn't stand to hold a conversation for too long, and I spent most of my time sleeping or crying with my head in the toilet. It was a living nightmare.

Perhaps this will sound melodramatic, but fellow HG sufferers will know exactly what I mean when I say it felt endless. I fully expect to receive flack for admitting this, but there were several instances where it was so awful I seriously considered ending my pregnancy. Of course, I'm relieved it never came to that - but the fact that it even crossed my mind to end a truly wanted and longed for pregnancy is a testament to just how awful HG is. 

I look back on those months, and feel no joy. HG deprived me of being a good mother to Robin, a supportive partner to my incredible husband and of simply living a normal day-to-day existence. Unfortunately, despite having always wanted 3 children, HG has also guaranteed that this will be my last pregnancy. There will never be a third.

On a more positive note, now that the sickness has left at last, I can finally enjoy this pregnancy while I still have a few months of it left. I feel more physically limited than I did with my first pregnancy, and I'm definitely sporting a much larger bump this time around (my hips do not like this fact - they are not childbearing built in the slightest) but I'm still managing to squeeze in coastal and forest walks where I can. I wish I could share all of the photos I have taken over the last year or so, but due to the sheer number of them I suspect it would make loading this page an impossibility. Although, they are all available to view on my Instagram at Jane_Eyre_Force, and I'll provide a few screenshots at the end of this post.

I'm not going to let this entry run on for as long as my previous entries, mainly due to the fact that I don't want to get burned out and delay my return to blogging by yet another year. However, I will endeavour to post reguarly - at least compared to last year, which shouldn't be difficult given that I only updated once in 2016! 

I feel that another reason I took such a large break from blogging was due to the fact that I didn't feel like I was writing as myself, but almost taking on the persona of somebody else. I feel my earlier entries lacked honesty and were simply a highlight reel. Which, I suppose, is typical of social media because really, who wants to share all the bad stuff? But I feel that a journal should be the place for that, and I don't want to paint my life as something it isn't. We live extremely frugally, and we struggle financially most of the time - but you wouldn't guess that from my social media. I agonise over every day trip we take, plan our budget down to the last penny, and I'm a fanatic about how much we spend on food shopping each week (Aldi, I love you), because I have to be, merely so we can get out of the house a few times a month and explore the beautiful area we are so lucky to live in. I don't live that 'blogger lifestyle' and I never have (not that I'm bashing those who do and can).

I'm heavily pregnant and exhausted from running around after my unbelievably energetic toddler all day, so I'll end this entry here and hope that it will be the gateway I needed for longer and more regular entries. I will say that I have dearly missed this little corner of the internet and I do hope some of you still remember my blog exists! Sorry to have kept you waiting for so long.

As promised, here are some screenshots of my Instagram gallery (I attempted to put them in order of most recent, but the track pad on my laptop spazzed out and put an end to that plan). There is a link to my account in the sidebar.

 Anyway...